Momzilla

Since we enrolled our little boy in the Ateneo Football Center (AFC) training program, my hubby and I have gotten used to spending our Saturday and Sunday mornings (early at that!) in the Ateneo football field. Like other parents, we watch and cheer as our little boys (and girls) learn to play football. It's been almost six months since we started dragging our butts to Ateneo every weekend and we've gotten familiar with the people we effectively spend our weekend mornings with.

Last Sunday, while we were watching our son train, my husband calmly concluded that he's seen it all. Here's why.

During the last AFC Football Festival, my son got teamed with this kid (the kid) who plays really good football. Prior to the Festival, My hubby and I observed that this kid, while he was really good at playing football, also had an attitude problem. During training, when his teammates don't pass the ball, he would yell, "Pass it to me!" Sometimes the kid would outrightly defy their coach and say no to whatever the coach asked him to do. Hubby and I just dismissed him as a brat... That is, until we saw his Mom...

My son's team reached the championship match for the last Football Festival. During the said game, I was standing (yes, standing! The game was exciting, ok?) beside the goal together with another mom from my son's football team and we cheered our lungs out for our sons' team. Even if our sons eventually lost the championship game (which was decided based on penalty kicks), we were damned proud of our boys!

It was under these circumstances that I first "encountered" the kid's Mom. She was standing at the opposite side of the goal with a friend of her's. While the game was going on, she would yell "J*****N, go after the ball!!! Kung hindi, wag ka na lang maglaro!" This she bellowed while she had her hands on her hips (yes, that menacing stance...) When her son followed her orders, she would proudly tell her friend that her methods work ("Konting sindak lang yan." with matching eyebrow movement). During waterbreaks, when most moms would wipe the sweat off their sons' backs, she would be barking orders at her young son, telling him what to do when the game resumes. I just labeled her as a "hardcore" football mom, and I thought I saw the worst of it during the Football Festival. Boy, was I wrong.

Last Sunday, during waterbreak, hubby and I watched in shock as she dragged (tugged, or whatever you call it) her crying six-year old son off the field. A few minutes later, we saw her approach the AFC table, talk to the AFC staff and hand in her receipt. Her reason? We don't know. We can only guess. But whatever her reason was, it's definitely not worth humiliating her little boy like that in public.

First and last...

This is the first and the last time I will ever talk about this. I've kept my silence all this time in an effort to protect all the parties involved. More than a year has passed, and I've kept mum about this. But it seems that in this case, keeping silent is not the best way to go. I've had enough. I've heard and read enough, to finally speak up and put an end to this nonsense.

First and foremost, I am not doing this simply because it is my sister involved. God knows my sister and I have had our fair share of fights and misunderstandings. And I am not the type to tolerate her crap. Simply put, when my sister's not in the right, you can bet your ass I'd give her an unedited piece of my mind (yes, I've done this already). That being said, I can now go on and give a piece of my mind to this person who has been unabashedly writing about my sister.

To the person who keeps on writing about my sister's alleged betrayal, please, please wake up and see things as they are... YOU'RE SCREWED UP! You claim that my sister betrayed you when she didn't tell you that your fiance had doubts about marrying you. Duh! How conveniently you forget your hysterics in B*B's restaurant, when my sister, out of loyalty to you, calmly told you about your fiance's issues. Decent, mentally stable human beings would have the self-control not to do that, you know. But not you... You are so unstable that you proceeded to scream, curse and cry out in public, after my sister calmly explained to you what your fiance told her. Despite that, again, out of loyalty to you, my sister refused to talk to your fiance about your issues and actually referred your fiance to a marriage counselor for proper counseling. So please, tell me... Where is the betrayal there?

You know, girl, life is what you make it. If you want to put the blame on the world for the failure of your marriage, then that's your choice. Choose to be bitter and live in bitterness. It has been over a year and still you can't stop talking about your failed marriage. You want to know why it didn't work out between you and your husband (who out of weakness decided to push through with the wedding)? It's simple. ANG SAMA NG UGALI MO! You're too screwed up to be capable of loving another human being. That's why. How can you blame everybody else when you're the one abusing your husband? You're the one who physically attacks him when you fight, and yet you're not to blame?! COME ON!!! Granted your husband was a bit of a wuss in continuing with the wedding, but hey, you can't blame the guy... After all, you would have probably chased him with a bolo had he called off the wedding. Wake up, girl. YOU ARE TO BLAME, too. If you can't admit that fact then you'll never move on, and you'll continue living in bitterness. Oh and one last thing, NOBODY, AS IN NO ONE, BELIEVES THAT YOU'RE HAPPY. You can blog about it all you want, you can ramble about how you've moved on and so on, but trust me, nobody believes you... So please, stop writing about my sister. She didn't cause the meltdown of your marriage, you did...

Bakit masarap maging Atenista?

• It’s not easy to pass the ACET. Even if you’re 6’5” and have a mean hook shot.
• Our campus is gorgeous.
• When we say “hell week”, we mean “HELL week”… and we always survive.
• Thanks to countless Philo oral exams and papers, we can BS our way out of anything.
• We know the gratification that comes with getting an A from a Jesuit teacher. Or even just a B.
• Meron.
• Our patron saint’s leg was broken by a cannonball, but it didn’t break his spirit.
• We get to yell “Win or lose, it’s the school we choose!” every time we sing our school song.
• Even our least respectable course is still a hell of a lot better than “Sports Management”.
• La Salle jokes are really, really funny.
• When people ask what school you’re from and you answer “Ateneo”, they get a look on their faces that says “wow”.
• Magis.
• We can sit through tediously long and unbearably hot graduation ceremonies with smiles on our sweaty faces.
• Our diplomas are impressively ginormous, and printed in Latin.
• The Placement Office helps us land good jobs after graduation.
• The Alumni Office sends us letters for our birthdays, Easter, and Christmas every year.
• Our good teachers stay, and many are still around up to now.
• No matter how many years have passed since graduation, Loyola Heights always feels like home.
• We always give everything ONE BIG FIGHT.
• It’s not that we’re better than everyone else. It’s just that we couldn’t imagine being anything else other than Atenean.

*****
by my dear friend, and fellow Blue Eagle fan, Aileesa Lim, (BSLM 2001).

The $uperficial

This is a rant. I am utterly disgusted, so please bear with me...

I don't understand how some people can think that spewing out mean words is cute. I don't get it. I just don't. Don't get me wrong, I can be pretty superficial myself. But geez... Some people can be mean, just plain mean. Case in point, after a reunion-of-sorts lunch with a bunch of my classmates, a classmate of mine approached a female classmate and oh-so-casually says "You should think about growing your hair, the highlights aren't working for you." WOW. What a way to say goodbye. And to think they aren't even close. I mean, what the heck, right? Then I found out this same person said this to another classmate who had just broken up with her boyfriend, "Hay ******, I'm glad you broke up with your boyfriend, 'coz I can't even bear to look at the guy's face. Didn't you notice? I don't look at him." GOD! The boyfriend this person was referring to happens to be a really nice guy who was utterly devoted to his girlfriend. So nice, in fact, that my friend (the one whose hair got "criticized") and I are hoping for a reconciliation. Even more annoying is the fact that the boyfriend isn't ugly or horrible looking at all. But hey, as far as this superficial person's concerned, that doesn't matter because apparently the boyfriend's looks are not are not at par with the superficial's standards. Am I overreacting? Please, tell me, 'coz I am seriously annoyed with this guy.

Your Face Tomorrow, 1: Fever and Spear

"It's shocking how easily we replace the people we lose in our lives, how we rush to cover any vacancies, how we can never resign ourselves to any reduction in the cast of characters without whom we can barely go on or survive, and how, at the same time, we all offer ourselves up to fill vicariously the empty places assigned to us, because we understand and partake of that continuous universal mechanism of substitution, which affects everyone and therefore us too, and so we accept our role as poor imitations and find ourselves surrounded by more and more of them."


Javier Marias

**********
Another one of them brilliant writers. Galing magsulat! Hay. I can't wait to read his books. Thanks to Marco for sharing this.

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

I live for moments like this...

Every time I find my little boy awake before I leave for work, I usually kiss and hug him before I say goodbye. Normally, this annoys him as my kiss-and-hug isn't your normal kiss and hug routine, it's actually more like a kiss-kiss-hug-kiss-kiss-kiss-really-tight-hug-kiss-an-even-tighter-hug routine. His reaction notwithstanding, I do that to him every time I say goodbye.

This morning, my little boy was preparing for his bath when I went up to him and said my usual goodbye. As I was walking away from the bathroom, I heard my little boy call out "Mommy!", so I looked back and saw him running towards me, arms outstretched. His yaya who was walking behind him said, "Ate, gusto pa daw ng lambing." I gladly yielded to his request and hugged him. After hugging him, my little boy gave me a kiss on the cheek... Haaaaaay, bliss!

After that, I stood up and he walked away from me, towards the bathroom. He had taken just a few steps when I heard him call out again, "Mommy!" I turned to see him, and I saw him walking towards me, with his lips puckered (What a sight that was!)... Again, I gladly gave in to his request and planted a kiss on his lips, coupled with an extra tight hug. After my kiss and hug, he happily walked towards the bathroom. While doing so, he kept on blowing me kisses and repetitiously said "Ba-bye! Ba-bye! See you later, ma!" until I was out of his sight... Haaaay. The joy of it all. Moments like this just goes to show that life is good, indeed. :-)

Awwwww...

"You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
0r you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on."

-- David Harkins

**********
Grief, as in all other things in life, is a matter of choice. :-)

You Are 56% Vain

You're a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence. Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don't think less of those who aren't as pretty as you!

How Vain Are You?

7.7.7.

• My nephew, Gabriel Santino gets baptized, and I get to be one of the ninangs! :-) To my nephew/godson, Welcome to the Christian World! :-)

• UAAP Season 70 opening, and arch-rival DLSU Green Archers are back (I bet with a lot of vengeance, after their "forced" [heeheehee] rest from the league). I just hope our beloved Blue Eagles will put up a good fight against the Archers. (This I say with a lot of hope, prayers and optimism considering the massive loss the team has suffered in the persons of JC Intal, Macky Escalona and Doug Kramer.) To my dear Blue Eagles, ONE BIG FIGHT!

• Sherwin and Astrid gets married, and we get to feast on unlimited Roast Calf (of course, other dishes were served, but the roast calf was soooooo delicious, I can't even remember what those other dishes are!), beer, cocktails (it was an open bar, after all) and lots of hilarious stories from the 4C boys (it's hard to believe they're actually a bunch of 30 year old men!) To Wonwon and A, Congratulations and Best Wishes! :-)

To everyone, Happy 7.7.7.! ;-)

Ngayon at Kailanman

Ngayon at kailanman
Sumpa ko’y iibigin ka
Ngayon at kailanman
Hindi ka na mag-iisa
Ngayon at kailanman
Sa hirap ko ginhawa ka
Asahan may kasama ka sinta
Naroroon ako t’wina
Maaasahan mo t’wina
Ngayon at kailanman

Dahil kaya sa ‘yo ng maitadhanang
Ako’y isilang sa mundo
Upang sa araw-araw ay siyang makapiling mo
Upang ngayon at kailanman
Ikaw ay mapalingkuran hirang
Bakit labis kitang mahal
Pangalawa sa Maykapal
Higit sa ‘king buhay

Sa bawat araw ang pag-ibig ko sa ‘yo liyag
Lalong tumatamis, tumitingkad
Bawat kahapon ay daig nitong bawat ngayon
Na daig ng bawat bukas

Malilimot ka lang
Kapag ang araw at bituin ay di na matanaw
Kapag tumigil ang daigdig at di ‘na gumalaw
Subalit isang araw pa matapos ang mundo’y nagunaw na
Hanggang doon magwawakas pag-ibig kong sadyang wagas
Ngayon at kailanman

Labis kitang mahal (ngayon at kailanman)
Langit may kasama ka (ngayon at kailanman)
Ngayon at kailanman

*********

definitely one of the best Filipino love songs ever. :-)

Random Thought and Rant

Random Thought

Earlier today, I received a rather passionate text from my friend. Instead of sharing his sentiments, I couldn't help but be amused. Here's the story. While he was surfing the net (more like snooping actually), he chanced upon the blog (or something like that. Hehehe.) of his ex's current beau. While going through this, he found out that the current beau uses the same pet name my friend coined for his ex. My friend feels betrayed (hence, the slew of rather passionate text messages).

I kind of see where his anger is coming from, after all, it has been barely 4 months since the break-up. Nonetheless, I cannot help but get amused. Is there an unwritten rule among exes nowadays that prohibits the recycling of pet names? Are pet names automatically copyrighted? :-) Haha. My friend keeps on saying that I'm missing the point, that the whole thing is about respect for what they had, and for what they shared. Isn't is amusing to see how something so trivial can bring about so much Freudian psychoanalysis? Ahhh... The joys of human relations. Hehehe.

I think my friend is over-analyzing things. I honestly don't think his ex is the type to analyze the implications of recycling pet names. I can even bet my ass his ex doesn't give a damn about how special their past is or whatnot. What does he expect from a person who jumped into another relationship eight (8) friggin' days after their break-up? This person did not even dignify their break-up, I seriously doubt if he'd fuss over the re-use of my friend's pet name. Hay, to my friend, there are just some battles not worth fighting... :-)

Rant

This had my blood pressure rise.

Scenario: Me, sandwiched between girl A and girl B while having dinner.
Girl A: B, do you remember what you said to your boyfriend yesterday night? (Note: I wasn't with them that night)
Girl B: Uhm no...
Girl A: OMG. You were such a bad girlfriend.
Girl B: Why? What did I say?
Girl A: Uhm...
(looks at me)
Hay naku, let's talk about it later na lang... Basta you were so bad.
Girl B: What did I say nga? I don't think it was that bad.
Girl A: Remind me later na lang... Later na. Basta it was bad.

Yes. I was in the middle of that conversation. And it was so hard not to face Girl A and ask, you want me to leave so that you can continue with your supposedly "private conversation"? Geez! If I wasn't supposed to know what she was talking about, then she shouldn't have brought it up in my presence. I'm probably overreacting but I hate it when people do that. I think it's really rude. I'm a believer that if a matter is private then it shouldn't be brought up in front of people who are not supposed to hear or know about it. Isn't that a fundamental rule in human relations?!

My Brain is 73% Female, 27% Male

Your Brain is 73% Female, 27% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Survey from Joan and Jae

1] What was the highlight of your week?

Highlights of my week:
a) Dinner at In-yo with Wei and my hubbywubby. (suuuuuuuuuper delicious food! As in... The steak and the mango pavlova are to die for.)
b) Ateneo football weekend with my boys.
c) TRANSFORMERS!!! :-)

2] Whose car were you in last?
Our family's.

3] When is the next time you will kiss someone?
Later, when I get home from work.

4] What color shirt are you wearing?
White. (I loooooove white!)

5] How long is your hair?
Just below my shoulders.

8] Last movie you watched?
TRANSFORMERS! My friend told me it's a trilogy, now I can't wait for the 2 other movies.

9] Last thing you ate?
Tocino, egg and rice for breakfast.

10] Last thing you drank?
Water. Had to take Decolgen, I'm feeling a bit under the weather today.

11] Where did you sleep last night?
Our bed.

13] Are you happy right now?
I could be happier. :-)

14] What did you say last?
"Joseph, magkakasakit ata ako today."

15] Where is your phone?
Inside my bag. :-)

16] What was the last museum you went to?
Errrr... Gawd. I forget. It's been that long.

17] What color are your eyes?
Dark brown. (That's what my passport says!)

19] Who came over last?
Troy came over yesterday for his interview. ;-)

20] When was the last time you had your heart broken?
Next question please... Hahaha. :-)

21] Who/what do you hate/dislike currently?
Nothing, and no one at the moment. I'm all for positivity. Nurturing dislike for anything is not healthy.

22] What are you listening to?
The sound of silence.

23] If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
Materially speaking, LV speedy 25. On a much deeper and profound plane, happiness.

24] What is your favorite scent?
Annick Goutal's Eau de Hadrien. I am soooo in love with this scent.

25] Who makes you happiest right now?
My boys and my dearest friends.

26] What were you doing at midnight last night?
I was fast asleep. I was dead to the world by 930pm.

30] Are you left-handed?
Nope.

32] What's for dinner tonight?
It depends. If dinner time catches me in the office, most likely Jollibee. If not, whatever's prepared at home.

35] When Is Your Birthday?
11.28.80

36] Who was the last person to send you a text message?
I think it was Toie Bear.

37] When was the last time you went to a swimming pool?
Holy week last year. :-)

39] Where was the last place you went shopping?
Mango! I bought a pair of pants from Mango last, last Friday (tagal na!!!)

40] How do you feel about your hair right now?
It needs hot oil treatment.

41] Do you have any expensive jewelry?
Yep, mostly gifts from mi mama.

42] AIM or MSN?
Neither, YM! :-)

46] Where does most of your family live?
My parents are in Bacolod. My siblings are in Manila. My boys and I are also in Manila.

47]Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
I have 2 siblings. I'm the middle child. :-)

48] Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
Sa parents hindi. Sa hubby ko, oo, spoiled, big time.

49] What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
Shet! Lapit na deadline ng Memorandum for Puratos.

50] Do you drink beer?
Nope. I don't like the taste of beer.

52] Myspace or Facebook?
Facebook.

53] Do you have T-Mobile?
Nope.

54] What is your favorite subject in school?
English in Grade School, Araling Panlipunan for High School, Marketing and Philosophy for College, Persons and Civ for Law School... ;-)

57] Do you have any talents?
None that I know of... Hehehe.

58] Have you ever been in a wedding?
Yep. My own, included. :-)

59] Do you have any children?
I have an adorable son named Joaquin Alfonso. He's our pride and joy.

60] Did you take a nap today?
Too early to take a nap.

63] Do you want to be famous one day?
Famous? Nah. Not really.

65] Are you multitasking right now?
Of course! I'm drafting a memo, reading through transcripts and doing this survey.

66] Could you handle being in the military?
Nope. Wala akong disiplina.

67] What is your average cell phone bill?
Hmmm... 2K ata.

68] Do you believe in Karma?
Yep. Definitely.

72] Ever been to Las Vegas?
Nope.

73] What are you doing today?
Everything in my to-do list.

74] Have you ever been gambling?
Yep, I've wasted money on slot machines! Hehehe.

75] When is the last time you updated your blog?
June 19.

76] Have you been to New York City?
Not yet. :-)

77] Ever been to Disneyland/world?
Nope.

78] Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Ariel, the little mermaid.

79] Last thing you cooked?
Pomodoro Pasta and Prime Rib. :-)

82] Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
threw it in a fit. -- same here.

83] Last time you were sick?
I'm not feeling well today. :-(

84] Friend that makes you laugh the hardest?
Atty. Mike Acaban! Power of four! The LMgirls lalo na pag kasama si Inggo. Hehehe. :-)

Collection of Quotes from Toie Bear

The messenger just left to submit a relatively important pleading to the CTA (yes, CTA na naman!) So, I am on a self-imposed break... I don't want any brain activity for the next hour, so instead of updating my blog with original works I am posting a bunch of quotes (my opinion on the said quotes notwithstanding) I received from my dear friend and blockmate, Toie. ;-)

"I guess once you love someone and admit it, there's no crossing back, it's a line that will forever stay embedded deep within your heart. Because once you have loved that someone, it doesn't go away. You're forced to care and though how much you wish to prevent it, deep inside--you know he or she will always be special."

"If we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call 'fatum', what we currently refer to as DESTINY" -- From the movie Serendipity

"When someone really loves you, they will never hurt you and if they do, you'll see that in their eyes, they are hurting too." -- Spiderman

"You do anyting for the ones you love, even if it means risking your own freedom, letting your guard down, exposing you bare, and making you an easy target. It doesn't mean you're weak, you're just strong enough to stand and fight for the people you care for." --Sandman

"The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are scary as they are exciting, and as dangerous as they are alluring. And sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending. And that's not the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave the normal, you go into the unknown and once you do, you can never go back."

"Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated." (Painfully true...)

"Setting someone free is the hardest thing to do. It's not the tears you cried that makes it so hard, but the small piece of hope left inside your heart that someday you'll still end up together."

"It's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dream would have no meaning." -- Paulo Coelho

Eau de Hadrien

Eau de Hadrien by Annick Goutal

I absolutely love Eau de Hadrien by Annick Goutal... The scent is so light and refreshing, I can't get enough of it. :-) Sooooooooo, imagine my delight when I opened my gift last night and found out it was an Annick Goutal Eau de Hadrien coffret (set of perfume, shower gel and body lotion... Perfect for scent layering!) Thanks so much, da! I love the gift to bits! I can't wait to use it... :-)

An ATM booth moment

When: Two nights ago

Where: Metrobank ATM booth somewhere in Makati

What: After my withdrawal, while I was fixing my wallet, I accidentally dropped one of the Five Hundred Peso bills I withdrew. Since I was alone, and in a very small confined space, I didn't feel the need to pick up the bill right away. I was thinking that my bill won't go anywhere. So I took my time fixing my wallet (my red, Fino wallet which I absolutely love as it was given to my by a really cute guy on my birthday *wink*). After that, I looked at the floor to find my bill, but it was nowhere in sight... I was in corporate attire (read: black wide legged trousers, collared blouse and green stiletto pumps), so I tried to look for my bill as dignified and as poised as I can. However, my efforts at finding my bill in a dignified and poised manner proved to be futile, as my bill was absolutely nowhere in sight! At that point, I thought, CRAP! Might as well look for my precious bill with diligence, so I went down on all fours and looked for my bill... As I was searching for my bill on all fours, I heard a soft tap on the door... I looked behind me and saw a guy, also in corporate attire (Yes! Behind me, meaning my ass was facing him... Hehehe.) I quickly stood up and opened the ATM door booth, the guy asked "Are you ok?" I told him I was fine and that I was just looking for a Five Hundred Peso bill that seemingly disappeared in the ATM booth. He grinned then told me, "Oh, ok! I thought you slipped." Mr. Corporate Attire then offered to help me using his small flashlight, with matching hirit "Cute pa ang flashlight ko."

We then looked for my bill together (This time, of course, I was standing up. Hehehe.) Fortunately, Mr. Corporate Attire found my bill hidden under the steel railings. Whew! Buti na lang! :-) I thanked Mr. Corporate Attire and left the ATM booth happily. (As an aside, Mr. Corporate Attire noticed and complimented my green stilettos... Cute daw! Hehehe.)

To Mr. Corporate Attire, thanks for the help! There should be more people like you roaming the streets of Manila. :-)

Worst week at work so far

I survived this week! Boy, am I extra thankful for this fact. This being the week when I committed my worst-ever professional blunders (hopefully this will be the last!).

First blunder, I totally forgot about a Memorandum (a pleading you submit to the court which basically summarizes the entire case, i.e. one hell of an important pleading!) due on June 14. This is how it happened: The associate who handled the case before me (Damned tax case at that!) handed me her draft three (3) weeks before the deadline, but I was too busy with my other work that I never bothered to check it or browse though it (Yes! Stupid of me! I knoooooooow). Then came the evening of June 12, when I realize I missed the office deadline. PANIC struck, so I merely fixed the format of the draft and submitted the darned thing to my boss... BIG MISTAKE!!! As it turns out, the Memorandum was lacking in soooooooo many areas... So there. At 8am on June 14, I was seated in my boss' office and a sermon (I deserved as much) was delivered in my favor. Thankfully, we had a pending Motion with the court, so we had a valid reason for requesting for an extension of time to file the blasted Memorandum. Whew!

Second (and equally as stupid) blunder, I received an order from the Court of Tax Appeals denying admission of certain documents as evidence (Yes! Another damned tax case!!! My loooooooove for tax is haunting me! Hahaha). I looked at the ground for the denial and I saw that it was based on the fact that the said documents were not submitted to the court. Stupid me, instead of looking for the documents, just ignored the order and left it lying on my messy desk... Lo and behold, my boss asked for an update on the case... Let's just say, upon hearing my response, his reaction was... Errrrrr... Passionate... Very Passionate... It's so passionate that I'm dragging my silly ass to the CTA on Monday to check every piece of document in their possession, my being asthmatic notwithstanding... Hahaha.

In spite all these, I'm still enjoying my work. Yes, occasional blunders, "passionate reactions" and all, I still love my job. I just need to buy me a yummy Wagyu steak meal... or a really nice bag... or shoes... to nurse my badly damaged ego. Haha.

P.S. Many thanks to my blockmate, turned official nguynguyan, Mr. Baker! ;-) Alam kong hindi naman plinano na ikaw ang maging nguynguyan ko, but you live up to the challenge. Hehehe.

"Chief"

"Good Afturhnewn, welcome to Marikina City Hall!"

The greeting from the ever-so-enthusiastic receptionist that used to brighten the otherwise boring PLEB afternoons my OLA partner and I spent in the Marikina City Hall. And now, that ever-so enthusiastic receptionist is working here in my office building as the head of lobby security (if there's such post. Haha.)

Every time I pass by the "chief" (as he is called by the people in the office) I always get a highly-energized greeting. (The greetings are soooo energized, the whole lobby can hear him. Hehehe.) Some of my officemates think he's annoying, but I think he's funny... Hell, our PLEB hearings in Marikina City Hall would have been exceptionally dreadful if it weren't for his animated greetings.

To chief, good afturhnewn to you too. ;-) Hehehe.

To unlove somebody...

"How do you unlove a person?"

That's the text I got from my friend earlier today, and I was quite taken aback with his message. I didn't know what to say, and I didn't know exactly what he wanted to hear from me. The text, I concluded, was too vague to elicit a reply. I figured it was one of those "random thoughts" texts that didn't require a response, so I chose not reply. Hours later, I got another text from him saying, "I miss her." It was only at that point that I realized that my friend was having another one of his moments. Sigh. He's missing the girl who broke his heart. My heart went out to him. I wanted to text him something that would help him out of his pain. I know he is hurting right now. After all, he is in love with a person who is in love and is with somebody else. Ouch. I certainly don't want to be in his shoes...

So, I replied to him, "We decide on it, and we hope and pray that we get to stick to our choice."

I don't know if my text helped him, but I didn't know what else to say. I hope my text was as encouraging and optimistic as I wanted to be.

I know my friend's in for one tough battle. To unlove someone is not easy. There are numerous formidable forces (human emotions and memories, to name a few. In his case, 8 years worth of memories. Sigh.) to be dealt with; the reckoning of which is made all the more difficult by the fact that this choice is forced upon my friend by the circumstances that leave him with no other option (he certainly can't put his life on hold while the girl he's in love with is with someone else). The inherent difficulty of the situation makes the possibility of being unable to come out of it victorious all too real (yes, persons who remain hung up with their past loves in spite of so many changes in their lives are not unheard of). At the end of the day, I can only hope for the best for my friend. After all, in situations like this, what can we really do but hope and pray for the best?

The Heart of the Matter

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And all the struggles we went through
How I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
[ these lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com/lyric/130612/India.arie+-+The+Heart+Of+The+Matter.html ]
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm

I've been trying to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my heart is so shattered
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside

I wanna be happily everafter
And my heart is so shattered
But I know it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if you don't love me anymore
Even if you don't love me anymore
---------

Originally by Don Henley, but it's the India Arie version that I fell in love with. :-)

The existence of forgetting has never been proved: We only know that some things don't come to mind when we want them.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
-- Michel de Montaigne


---------
Soooooooooooooooo true...

Dear God,

All I ask for is one day, just one day. Show me it's possible, and I'll be ok.

Laglagan na...

A friend once asked me how I am able to cut-off certain people from my life. The answer is simple: self-preservation. Human instinct dictates that we protect ourselves from any form of pain and hurt. So in my book, hurting me badly would only mean one thing: laglagan na.

This is not to say that I easily quit on people, because I don't. It takes an enormous amount of pain before I do this. But yes, I am human, and I have my limits. Needless to say, when I've reached my tipping point there's no turning back. Laglagan na talaga and no amount of wooing will win me back.

Distance and why its good

Some people just can't seem to understand the concept of healthy distance. I don't know if it's brought about by guilt or what, but some people just can't seem to stay away.

Case in point, a friend of mine had his heart badly broken by his girlfriend (now, ex-girlfriend) who dumped him for another guy. After almost a year since she broke up with him, the girl still keeps on making her presence felt with her regular "How are you?" texts and whatnots. I don't know if I'm from another generation or world altogether, but definitely, in a situation like this it would be better for the girl to just stay away and keep her distance. It is clear that she has made her choice not to be with my friend, so why not stick to that choice and just leave him alone?

Others might defend what she's doing and say that she's just being a friend. To that, this I say: CRAP! That is a very limited and shallow concept of friendship. Friendship, like love, is about wanting and doing what's best for the other regardless of the pain and discomfort. Friendship is NOT about staying close. What she's doing to my friend is not about friendship, its about guilt and selfishness. She is so consumed with guilt that's why she feels the need to check up on my friend. In her shallow mind, she's probably thinking that by asking him how he is and having dinners with him she's helping him cope with the pain she caused him. Hello! If only human emotions were that simple. As my dear friend once said, the source of pain cannot be the same source of comfort. She should deal with her guilt somewhere else and allow my friend to heal and move on without her. What she's doing is just so mean...

Classy Things to Say When Stressed

1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!"

2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing!"

3. "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"

4. "Well, this day was a total waste of make-up."

5. "Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"

6. "Don't bother me! I'm living happily ever after."

7. "Do I look like a fucking people person?!"

8. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting!"

9. "I started out with nothing; still have most of it left."

10. "I pretend to work; they pretend to pay me."

11. "YOU! Off my planet!"

12. "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose."

13. "Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self control."

14. "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed."

15. "And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be?"

16. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."

17. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."

18. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed."

19. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"

20. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable."

21. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet."

22. "Back off! You're standing in my aura."

23. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."

24. "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"

25. "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."

26. "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?"

27. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

28. "Wait! I'm trying to imagine you with a personality."

29. "Chaos, panic, and disorder---my work here is done."

30. "Ambivalent? Well yes and no."

31. "You look like shit. Is that the style now?"

32. "Earth is full. Go home."

33. "Aww, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"

34. "I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."

35. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."

36. "You are depriving some village of an idiot."

37. "If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport."

____
got this from my friend's blog. Thanks so much, Camillo! Kamusta na kayo ni Stelios? *mwah*

Absurd

My friend (who happens to be a very good writer) just told me about this guy (a schoolmate of his) who copied parts of my friend's resume and posted it in his Multiply and Friendster accounts as his entry in the "About Me" section. Needless to say, the guy passed it off as his own.

Talk about absurd...

Negotiation is the way to go

Thank God for negotiations! :-) My boss just informed me that I can "hold" working on the pleading I was slaving over for the past few days because they just started negotiations with the opposing party. Yes!!! I hope the negotiations turn out to be fruitful... ;-)

I'm on a high, on a high...

thats me with Atty. Twoytwoy and Atty. Sexytime in front of the Supreme Court
(I just had to see my name on that list)

After six (6) long months of waiting, the list of bar passers was released last night (April 3, 2007, 7pm). Thankfully, my name was on the list... WOOHOO!!! :-)

I made it!!! I passed the bar exams!!! Yipee!!! *smiling from ear to ear* (I have been smiling this way since I found out I passed... :-) I'm on a high, on a high...)

To the people who kept me sane and mentally stable (you know who you are) during the hellish bar review season, I cannot thank you enough. To my friends and family, your prayers and support kept me afloat. Thank you so much! To the UP and Winlaw BarOps Team, many, many thanks. We wouldn't have survived without you guys.

Next stop: PICC for the oath taking... WOOHOO!!!

Rumors and the bar exams...

It has always been like this. Rumors there, rumors here, rumors everywhere.

I consider myself to be a level-headed individual. During crunch time, I hardly get frazzled (allow me to borrow your favorite word, Maf) and I'm usually the calm one. Rumors barely bother me, as I'm a firm believer in cold, hard facts.

My preparation for the bar however, was a different ballgame altogether. Weirdly, almost every little rumor had me panicking (and there were at least a hundred rumors during that time! From the identity of the examiners to the coverage of the exams... You name it, and I'm sure there was a rumor about it). Needless to say, I had my fair share of panic attacks during that time (you can ask my friends who were bothered by my frantic text messages and phone calls). I must admit though, that relative to my fellow barristers, I would still be classified as "the calm one". Hehehe. :-)

Now, after almost 6 months, the rumors are once again starting. This time, the rumors are about the date of the release of the bar exam results (March 22, 23, 27, 29... ARGH!). A few weeks ago, I would be able to laugh this off. Unlike my other friends who've had panic attacks as early as October (we took the bar, September!), I've been calmly (a part of me is actually eager and excited) waiting for the release of the bar exam results. These past few days however, I can actually feel my heart beating quite fast. I don't know if this is the beginning of a panic surge, or a mere acknowledgment of the fact that the rumored dates are nearing. For sure, the dark cloud looming over every barrister's head is getting darker with each day, and after much waiting (and hoping and praying, in my case at least) we'll know if our dream of becoming a lawyer (childhood dream for me!) will become a reality or not...

College Friends (A fun survey from my baby bro..)

Can you name 13 of ur friends in college that u can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 13 people. This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first. No Cheating!!!

1. awee dacanay
2. daisy vargas
3. cheeky cristobal
4. chef borres
5. aileesa lim
6. sharon lu
7. ria caganda
8. pia oliveros
9. mike acaban
10. jehan lepail
11. nikki tablizo
12. simon lao
13. angie chong

*How did you meet 10?
Jehan-jehan shifted to LM from Econ. The lucky girl got assigned to our block. So yun...

*What would you do if you had never met 1?

Oh my. Awee is like a sister to me. She (and my other dear friends, of course) has kept me rock steady during difficult times. I'd be one big mess without her... I can't imagine life without her...

*What would you do if 6 and 2 date?

BWAHAHAHAHA. Daisy and Shalu? Unlikely couple... They're both heterosexuals, I don't think they'd go for each other. ;-) Hehehehe.

*Have you ever seen 4 cry?

Yes. There was even one time we were both crying in the Rizal Study Foyer... :-) Hehehehe.

*Do you think 10 is cute?
Cute? Not the best word to describe Jehan. Jehan's beautiful, not cute. There.

*How did you get to know 8?

She was my blockmate in English (B13!!!), then she shifted to LM (with lots of encouragement from me). The rest is history. :-)

*Would you ever go on a date with number 12?

Romantic date with Simon? I don't think so... But I'd have dinner and coffee with him any time. I adore Simon! One of sweetest guys around. :-)

*What's 7's Favorite color?

PINK!!! :-) I know for sure. If Ria had a choice, she'd be reincarnated as the Pink Power Ranger. :-)

*What would you do if 5 confessed he/she loved you?
I know Ailee loves me, and I love her. She's a dear friend, how can we not love each other? :-) (Right, ling? Baka kumontra ka, mapapahiya ako... :-P)

*Facts about 9:
1) He's 1/4 chinese, 1/4 español... (tama ba mike?)
2) He got suspended in grade 7 (as to why, go ask him)
3) He's a certified bading magnet

*Who is 4 going out with?
This guy from Rockwell, whom we have yet to meet... :-)

*What is number 5 to you?
She's a dear friend -- One of my sweetest, most thoughtful friends... :-)

* Would you ever live with 13?
Of course! ;-) Angie's one hell of a girl. I bet sobrang fun siya kasama.

*Is 2 single?
Unfortunately, yes. (Kasalanan nina Mike and Simon 'to! :-p)

*Where does 7 live?
She hails from Iriga, Bicol, but now (before she leaves for Delaware) she's staying with her brother in Alabang. :-)

*What do you think about 3?

She's one amazing girl-- smart and driven with the right amount of attitude and heart to boot... :-)

*What do you like about number 11?
She's a really, really sweet girl with not a single mean bone in her body. :-)

*Favorite Memory with 1?
OH MY. Super dami. I guess one favorite would be our lamon session in Don Henrico's-Libis (Aga Muhlach, hello! Hehehe.) Of course, I won't ever forget our Entablado days.... and our trip to Cebu last 2004. If I go into details, marami na sobra... :-) Hehehe.

*What's the nickname of 6?

Well, it's supposed to be Shalu. But I call her Talung (Why? Beats me!). :-) Hehehe.

*Describe 1:

A really complex individual. She can be as hard as a rock, or as soft and sweet as a marshmallow depending on the situation. One thing's for sure, you shouldn't hurt her friends, 'coz she'd run you over with her car if you do...

*Famous line of 7?
"I was sleeping like crazy."
"I was frazzled."

Gerard Butler would have been a better James Bond. :-)

Just a thought

Is it easy to move on? Is it easy to let go?

If not, how come some people expect moving on to be such an easy task? How come some people fault others who are somehow stuck in another place and time? How come some people throw around the words "letting go" and "moving on" as if it were as easy as learning the alphabet?

If it is actually easy, then maybe I'm the one with a different concept of letting go and moving on...

P.S. This is a delayed reaction to a comment posted in my friend's blog. I don't think I'm making sense here. I think I should gather my thoughts and make a better post, but for now, this will suffice. ;-) Hehehe.

Survey I got from my friend, Toie Bear

1. what kind of first impression do you think people have when they first see you?
That I'm friendly? :-) Hehehe. I really don't know, but I've some friends who say they thought of me as aloof the first time they saw me... (I'm not! I swear!)

2. what's one thing you like to do alone?
Watch TV or Read a good book. :-)

3. what is your favorite line to say when bored?
Nothing. When I'm bored, no words come out from my mouth (this says a lot considering I am very, very talkative).

4. What movie(s) made you cry?
Hmmmmmmm... Iyakin ako sa movies eh. I cried in A Bug's Life! :-) hehehe. Well, recent ones I remember crying over are: Waking the Dead, Torch Song Trilogy and A Moment to Remember. One movie which had me bawling my eyes out is The Classic. :-)

6. do you ever have to beg?
Nope. Home pride, ma-pride ako eh. :-)

7. what kind of books do you like to read
I read all kinds of stuff, from the likes of CS Lewis to the likes of Judith McNaught, depending on my mood.

8. do you think you're cute?
Nope... I don't think cute would be a word to describe me. :-)

9. do you have a problem changing clothes in front of your friends?
Yep. :-) I have body issues...

10. favorite communication method?
Text Messaging! -- same here!

11. do you care?
Yes. Even when I shouldn't be caring anymore, I still do...

12. what do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
I hardly eat at night. But the rare moments that I do, I go for chips or nuts. :-)

13. if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
liposuction haha! =) -- same here! Tummy area to be more specific. :-)

15. describe your bed
big, comfortable enough -- ditto! :-)

16. spontaneous or planned?
I'd like to think I'm a planner, but my plans can change in a minute, so I guess I'm spontaneous... I don't think I'm making sense here... :-) Hehehe.

17. do you know how to play poker?
Yes, Texas Holdem!

18. what do you carry with you at all times?
Staples in my handbag are: Cellphone, Wallet, Hairbrush, and Hand Sanitizer

19. what do you miss most about being little?
the simple, mababaw things. no worries.-- I agree! I always say, I miss the simplicity of life as a kid... :-)

20. are you happy with your given name?
BWAHAHAHAHAHA :-) First name, okay pa... Second name, why oh why?!!!

21. how much would it take to give up the internet for 1 year?
1 year? A lot!!! A day nga lang nagkakaseparation anxiety na ako eh... ;-)

22. what color is your bedroom?
light yellow

23. have you ever been in a play?
Yep, in school. Didn't we all go through that? ;-)

24. do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Like myself? Well, most of the time, yes... Believe in myself? Sometimes... But I wish I believed in myself all the time...

25. do homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
Yes, when they get too makulit... It really irks me when they touch me. I have a thing against strangers getting tactile with me...

26. do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
BWAHAHAHAHA. Oo naman... ;-) May kokontra? Hehehe.

27. what is your ideal marriage location?
Tapos na kasal ko, so moot na etong tanong na to.

28. whats one instrument you wish you could play?
Violin. :-)

29. something you like and hate?
lawschool!!! -- same here!!!

30. whats one language you want to learn?
French! Although I wish I pursued my minor in Spanish Studies. :-)

31. have you ever pierced your body parts?
my ears -- same here!

32. do you have any tattoos?
Nope! Never!

34. whats one trait you hate in a person?
I hate it when people are duplicitous.

35. do you consider yourself materialistic?
Well, I find pleasure in a lot of worldly things... So I guess to a certain extent, yes. Heehee. :-)

36. what do you cook best?
Pomodoro pasta. :-)

37. do you cry in front of your friends?
very rarely. once or twice pa lang. -- same here! Although certain people have seen me cry several times... ;-) Heehee.

38. do you miss a friend right now?
Of course. Intensely... :-(

39. ideal place to live?
Makati! Near my favorite malls and restos! :-)

40. biggest wish?
To make all my dreams come true... :-)
I'm a perpetual dreamer...

Closer

Fell in love with the song the moment I listened to it. :-)

What If You

What if you
Could wish me away
What if you
Spoke those words today
I wonder if you'd miss me
When I'm gone
It's come to this, release me
I'll leave before the dawn
But for tonight
I'll stay here with you
Yes, for tonight
I'll lay here with you
But when the sun hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do
What if you
Could hear this song
What if I
Felt like I belong
I might not be leaving so soon
Began the night believing
I loved you in the moonlight
So, for tonight
I'll stay here with you
Yes, for tonight
I'll lay here with you
But when the sun hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do
I could've treated you better
Better than this
Well, I'm gone, this song's your letter
Can't stay in one place
So, for tonight
I'll stay here with you
Yes, for tonight
I'll lay here with you
But when the sun hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do

**********
One of my favorite songs by Joshua Radin

Back to Iyengar

Last Wednesday, I was invited by my friend Awee to do Iyengar yoga with her. Since I am not really busy these days, I agreed to go with her. After all, this would be my third time (or fourth, I'm not really sure) to do yoga with her. I was thinking, how hard can it get, right? I survived my other sessions, and as long as they won't make me do headstands, I'll be fine.

So Awee and I went to LKG Tower where the classes are held. We got there at around 5:45pm, since classes for Wednesday don't start until 6:30pm, we had more than enough time to change into our yoga attire (shorts!). After changing, Awee and I went inside the studio... Lo and Behold! Nobody else was there except me, Awee, the instructor and the secretary. Great! For a beginner like me (actually pseudo-beginner, since I attended two or three of their classes last year. Hehehe.), a really small class of three (3) isn't at all encouraging. That would mean greater scrutiny and more work... At that point, I was already beginning to feel pangs of cowardice, but I kept my poise and just kept telling myself, basta walang headstand, ok lang yan...

Awee and I went to our place in the room and set-up our area for class. We were quietly talking when Ameh (I dunno if I spelled her name right) walked in. Thank God! Nadagdagan kami. After setting-up her place, Ameh introduced herself to me and joined in on our conversation. In the course of it, she matter-of-factly says "Inversions daw tayo ngayon ah." I asked Awee if inversions meant what I thought it meant. She didn't outrightly answer, but she gave me this smile, this mischievous, wicked cum sympathetic smile... And I knew... I knew my worst yoga fears were coming true... WE WERE DOING HEADSTANDS!!! Waaaaaah!!! I was ready to pack-up and leave when the instructor (Popi) walked in and said we were going to start the class. Uh-oh... Too late. I can't leave now. And so I stayed... And stayed... And stayed... And stayed... And finished the entire session...

Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as I imagined. Actually, it wasn't bad at all. Popi was a very understanding teacher; she understood my limitations as a beginner and did not force me to do things beyond my body's capacity. She provided much-needed encouragement for me to try my best. She helped me with the poses when she saw I was not executing them properly (even if at times, she couldn't help but laugh at how I was screwing up the pose. Hehe).

All in all, going back to Iyengar was fun. I enjoyed my yoga session in spite of my fear of headstands. And even if my muscles ache all over, I intend to make a weekly thing out of this (wala na akong excuse not to do yoga, last year I had the bar as an excuse). Yoga makes me feel rejuvenated and relaxed. It has this wonderful calming effect on me (similar to what I feel after a massage) that I just love... And if I end up with a vavavoom figure, that would be a very welcome bonus! :-)