The perfect song :-)

Free In you by the Indigo Girls

A hard knock
A cold clock
Ticking off my time
A long look
But no luck
Couldn't seem to find
Or unwind
Into peace of mind
While I was trying

A quick glance
A big chance
My heart beat like a drum
I saw you
And I knew
Chances just don't come
Round again
Not like this
First a laugh
Then a kiss

And I'm free in you
I've got no worries on my mind
I know what to do
That's to treat you right
And love you kind
Thank you ever on my mind
Love is just like breathing
When it's true
And I'm free in you

The lost time
And self pride
Are my big mistakes
A clear voice
A bad choice
Sounding like an ache
In my day
Not too bad
But too real
To go away

But now I'm free in you
I've got no worries on my mind
I know what to do
That's to treat you right
And love you kind
Thank you ever on my mind
Love is just like breathing
When it's true
And I'm free in you

And I don't know
How you show
Such gentle disregard
For the ugly in me
That I see
That for so long
I took so hard
(I took so hard)
And I truly believe
(I truly believe)
That you see the best in me
(That you see the best in me)
I'm in love
We all love
And that thought
Sets me free

Free in you
Got no worries on my mind
I know what to do
That's to treat you right
And love you kind
Thank you ever on my mind
Love is just like breathing
When it's true
And I'm free in you
Yes I'm free in you

P.S. Anybody know how to upload an mp3 player in blogger? ;-)

Just a survey I got from Camillo's blog :-)

When was the last time you got drunk?
Tipsy... Not drunk, November 22, 2006 at around 1am... Many thanks to Jose Cuervo. (I never learn... I swore off Tequila after that drunken night in Camiguin but I guess the temptation's too hard to resist. Hehehe.)

What's your favorite style of socks?
Thin, almost stocking-like, black socks... For my boots! :-)

One big gift or a bunch of little gifts?
Hmmmmmm... It depends. I'm the queen of small-things, but every once in a while, a grand gesture is appreciated.

When is your birthday?
November... I'm a Saguittarian.

Who's your best friend?
None... I can't choose just one. What I do have though is a bunch of really good friends.

Do you like energy drinks?
Ugh! I don't drink them... Yucky stuff!

When was the last time you went to a carnival or a fair?
December 2004 -- Enchanted Kingdom, and we got stuck in horrible traffic going home (read: left Enchanted Kingdom at 10pm got home in Sampaloc at almost 5am)

Do you like upside down rollercoasters?
Nope. I always tell my adrenalin-junkie friends "Log jam pa lang nga, tumitirik na puso ko."

Have you ever witnessed/been in a wet t-shirt contest?
Nope, nope. ;-)

What's your favorite kind of chips?
I can't choose... I love them all: Lays Salt and Vinegar, Lays Sour Cream and Onion, Baked Doritos, Pringles Regular and Cheetos.

What's your favorite aquatic creature?
Eh? Ariel, the Little Mermaid. HAHAHA.

Ever drive your car on a sidewalk?
I don't know how to drive. ;-)

Would you rather bake brownies or cookies?
Cookies... I loooooooooove cookies. Yumyumyum...

What's your favorite coffee flavour?
Oooooh... I can't choose. In Starbucks, it's White Chocolate Mocha (no whipped!); in Coffee Bean, it's Vanilla Latte (NSA, please...) and Ice Blended Dulce de Leche (which was available only for the Holidays! ARGH!!!) and in Seattle's Best, it's Black and White Mocha (non-fat, no whipped!).

Do you own a knife?
Hmmmm... I think I got a cutlery set as a wedding present. So, yes.

How many scars do you have on your body that are non-surgical?
One on the right side of my left hand, a product of a childhood accident; and a chicken pox scar on the left side of my face. So, two. :-(

What is one turn-off about someone you are interested in?
Well... I have one crush at the moment, and I've seen him only once, so I can't say... And I really can't be genuinely interested in anyone 'coz I've been out of the market since 1998. :-)

What is one turn-ON about someone you are interested in?
HAHAHAHA. His disarming smile, and wickedly boyish charms. Plus! He is the master of succession! Impressive. ;-) Peace, Tatang! :-) Hehehehe.

Do you own a fish?
Nope.

Do you think there's other life in the universe?
Definitely. Scientists claim there are millions of solar systems out there. There has to be some form of life in those solar systems. :-)

Do you sleep with your bedroom door open?
Door closed. If I'm really tired, door locked. :-)

Are you the type who can sleep anywhere if need be?
Well, not really anywhere... But I've found myself asleep in Coffee Shops several times-- The price of being a law student. Hehehe. :-)

What are you mostly addicted to?
For now, downloading my favorite TV shows and movies from the net, Chef Tony's White Chocolate Walnut Popcorn and Coke Light.

Are you supposed to be doing something else instead of this survey?
Yes, sleeping. It's almost 4am. Hehehe. :-)

What will your wedding song be?
I got married already... :-)

How many times do you say "fuck" a day?
I hardly use the "F" word unless I'm really upset or startled. ;-)

What's your most-used swear word?
P.I. and I think I've exhausted my use of that word for five lifetimes... Hehehe.

Do you fear death?
Nope, what I do fear however is being unprepared for my death, i.e. an unused life.

What's your favorite video game?
Well, I enjoy playing Tekken in the PSP. That's a video game, right?

Are you currently dating someone?
Yes... The mister!

Do you like to play football with your friends?
Huwat?! Me? Football? :-) HAHAHAHA.

Do you like big crowds?
Generally no. I hate it when the crowd is so big that my personal space gets invaded. I make an exception however for the huge crowd that gathers during Ateneo-La Salle games, that huge crowd, I love! (Oooooooh... I'm getting excited for this coming UAAP season...)

When was the last time you checked the time?
Just now. 3:50 am.

How bored are you, exactly?
Ask me that when the sun's out and I would say, Super Duper Mega Bored. :-) hehehe.

One True Love vs. One Great Love

Yesterday, over yummy, yummy dessert in Old Spaghetti House (read: warm colossal chocolate chip walnut cookie topped with vanilla ice cream drizzled with chocolate syrup), my friend and I got to talk about love (yes, that cheesy thing we call love) and the concept of One True Love. My friend says that she does not believe in One True Love. She claims that we love in phases and for this reason, the fact that love ended doesn't make it less true. I agree with her on this one. All our loves are true, whether they end or not, they're real. What we felt during the time we loved is as true as true can get, and the fact that at some point that changed and ended doesn't make it untrue.

What I do believe in however, is the concept of One Great Love (I am still very much a romantic *sigh*). That love so intense, no words can fully capture its essence. So powerful, it defies reason and spins our world out of orbit. A love so great that all our other loves pale in comparison. Yes, cheesy and unreal as it may seem, I believe in this.

To be able to feel and experience this kind of love is grace in itself, because sadly, not everyone gets to feel a love like this. Even more blessed are the few lucky ones who are loved in return by their One Great Love. To love and be loved by your One Great Love is an even rarer (is there such word?) gift. To experience that even for a while is already amazing. And yes, there are the extremely exceptional ones who end up with their One Great Love... Now, that's just heaven on earth.

Beautiful Sadness

After listening to Jane Olivor's Beautiful Sadness, a good friend of mine said that this song would make a depressed person suicidal. True. This song is quite intense and every time I listen to it, I can actually feel my chest tighten. But I love it... It's a break-up song like no other...


P.S. I tried to look for the lyrics, but to no avail. I only got the first few lines which goes:

Just because it's over
Doesn't mean it didn't happen
Doesn't mean it wasn't beautiful
Even with the pain

You're lovely to remember
xxx

My Short-Term Goal

The Louis Vuitton Papillon 30

Ain't she a beauty? What my heart desires is actually the smaller version, the Papillon 26. Come to think of it, 30, 26, it doesn't matter. It's beautiful. *sigh*

Mad World

The moment I heard the song, I fell in love with it. It was originally by Tears for Fears, but it was the Michael Andrews (feat. Gary Jules) version that conquered my heart. Luckily, I found a video which features such version.
*********

MAD WORLD

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tommorow, no tommorow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which Im dying
Are the best Ive ever had
I find it hard to tell you
cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
Its a very, very
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

Just want to share

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin."

I totally agree. ;-)

At Peace with the Cosmos

2006 was quite a challenging year for me. Not only because I had to take the dreaded bar exams, but because I had to overcome a few unexpected bumps on the road. I'd like to say I'm better than ever, but to say so would be to undermine the intensity of the emotional rollercoaster that I went through. In due time, I'd be able to honestly say that, but for now, it is enough that I'm fine and that I'm at peace with the cosmos.

Allow me to share a few insights I've learned from my experiences last year.

• All is grace. Everything is grace. The pain, the hurt, the laughter, the joy, the love, the friendship… Everything! It’s grace. All our experiences define our person, and every new experience enriches the person that we already are. So welcome every experience and look at it with gratitude, it is an opportunity for self-improvement and growth.
• Love and Selfishness are mutually exclusive terms. Real love is selfless. It should force us look beyond ourselves and should prompt us to make the right choices and do the right things.
• Acceptance is the key to happiness. Life does not and will not give us everything that we want. It is up to us to accept the life that we have and to find happiness in that.
• The truth, always. This, to me, is the cornerstone of every decent human relationship. A relationship not founded on the truth is as good as nothing. A line from the show Brothers & Sisters sums it up beautifully, "The world is too fragile for people to be untrue. There's too much at stake, and life's too short for lies." If the truth isn't there at the outset, it's never too late to come clean. Just remember, the mantra is: The truth, always.
  
• Faith, Friends and Family. No challenge is too big armed with the right kind of friends, a loyal family and a strong sense of faith.
  

To 2007, this I have to say: Bring it on! :-)

Gretchen Barretto's Pantene Ad

In the new Pantene ad, Gretchen Barretto says "Each time I use it, mas nagiging glossy my hair."

Geez. *rolling my eyes*

I shall not say more. I think the thing speaks for itself.

Loving Leo more

I just watched Blood Diamond, and I must say, my boy Leo rocked! :-)

I've endured years of teasing from my friends (some of whom claim that Leo's acting is mediocre at best), but with Blood Diamond, my boy redeemed me! He has shown his gift as an actor. His performance in Blood Diamond as the emotionally-calloused Danny Archer was powerful and convincing without being over-the-top. He played the role so naturally that I forgot it was Leo Dicaprio onscreen (this says a lot considering the guy makes my heart beat five times faster at the mere sight of him).

Schoolgirl crush aside, Leo did well in Blood Diamond, and I hope he wins an Oscar for this one. He deserves it.

P.S.
The movie is a really good watch. It gives the viewers a glimpse of the Civil War that ensued in Sierra Leone over the so-called conflict diamonds.

A taste of Role Reversal

Before sleeping, my little boy usually demands (yes, he demands) one of three things from me-- embrace, which means I hug him to sleep; holding hands, which means I hold his little hand until he's asleep; and arms, which means he sleeps in my arms. Even if it means keeping still until he drifts off to sleep, I gladly yield to his nightly requests. I don't know what it is about me that lulls him to sleep, but whenever I'm there (doing whatever it is he requested) he falls asleep in no time.

Last night, I had a bit of difficulty sleeping. I was tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, and I still couldn't bring myself to sleep. At around 4am, I was getting tired of being awake, so I sat up and looked around me. To my left, I saw my little boy peacefully asleep, hugging his pillow. I stared at my little angel for a while then went back down to bed. This time, I took his soft, small hand in mine.

I don't know what it is about his hand that made me sleep, but that night, whatever comfort he finds in me almost every night, I found in him. That night, more than exhaustion, fatigue and weariness, it was my little boy's hand that lulled me to sleep...

For a while by Nina Simone

For a while is definitely one of the saddest songs I've listened to.

************
Lost in day to day,
Turned another way
With a laugh, a kind hello
And some small talk with friends I know
I forget that I'm not over you for a while.

A wave, an easy grin,
A smile to put them in,
Got other lives to listen to
And some music that I have to do
I forget that I'm not over you for a while.

Days go by with no empty feeling,
Until I touch my hair and touch my skin
And remember you're gone.

People say to me, "hey Nina do you need some company?
When you have some time to spend,
Drop around-you need your friends."
They forget that I'm not over you for a while,
They forget that I'm not over you for a while.

A bit of good news :-)

I just learned from my cousin that a notoriously sleazy professor issued a public apology (it was published in a local newspaper) to his former student whom he was harassing. Thank goodness! There is semblance of justice in this world. Now I'm just hoping he does the same thing to the girl he was (I'm hoping the harassment stopped after we graduated) from my school.

Allow me to clarify something, when I say harass I don't mean sexually harass in a physical sense. It's just that this particular professor has a nasty habit of spreading awful lies (read: STDs, alleged affairs with him, sex videos) about female students who are unfortunate enough to catch his sleazy eye. I can just imagine how those women felt. Well... I'm really happy he issued the apology. The girl definitely deserves it. Again, I'm hoping he does the same thing to the girl from my school. My schoolmate deserves an apology too.

On anger and then some...

Earlier today, I was talking to a friend. He was concerned with the anger that he felt towards his ex. Actually, the whole time we were talking, he kept using the word init (which means hate in our dialect). But I’d like to think that he didn’t mean hate in the truest sense of the word to describe whatever it is he feels for his ex. Knowing my friend, he really didn’t mean hate. I think what he feels is somewhere between anger and hatred. However, for lack of a term, I shall call it anger. I am reserving the word hate for really grave situations like shoulder pads and the tsunami hairstyle from the 80’s. Anything less than that, the word anger will suffice, hate is such a strong word one can’t just throw it around.

Anyway, back to my friend, he was asking me if it is alright for him to feel that way towards someone he loved (he claims he doesn’t love her anymore, for his sake, I hope he’s telling the truth).

I was a bit surprised that he asked me that. Of course, it is alright for him to feel angry. I mean, hello! His heart was broken into tiny little pieces, surely he is entitled to his anger.

What is it about anger that makes us so uncomfortable with it? Anger may bring out the monsters in us, but I've always been a believer that feeling angry is part of a healthy emotional make-up. I think a person who has never felt angry at one point in his life is emotionally-unstable.

I am not advocating angst here, ok? A distinction must be drawn between healthy anger and unhealthy anger. A person who is plain angry, for no apparent reason is emotionally-unstable as well. But for my friend, who had his heart broken by his girlfriend for 8 years, you my dear, are feeling a bit of healthy anger. So yes, it's perfectly fine for you to feel that way towards her. Accept your anger, recognize it's there and deal with it. Hopefully, after a while anger will turn to forgiveness and after that healing will follow. A wise man once told me that the path to healing and forgiving includes anger. I guess it is because of this that feeling angry for a reason and once in a while is part of a good emotional make-up.


To my heartbroken friend, something good will come out of this. Just wait for the silver lining, it will come. :-)

I am finally blogging...

My dear friend Ling will be so happy that I'm finally blogging.

Over a year ago (I think), she invited me to blog and I told her that I'm a reader not a writer, hence the non-appeal of blogging to me. But then again, things change, and I saw that blogging can help me in three ways. First, writing is therapeutic. It gives me the venue to air out my angst and whatnot. Second, I am still an unemployed bum and this would be a good way to keep myself busy. Lastly, this is a way for me to improve my writing skills, which to me are mediocre. My chosen profession demands that I must at least have good writing skills, so, here I am... Blogging... Hoping that this will help me write better and maybe, just maybe, be better... In more ways than one. :-)

Good luck to me. ;-)


***Note to Ling, your guidance will certainly help.