Friday, January 28, 2011

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack... :)

After more than two years of hibernation, I am back. Yes, I’m back and I hope that I won’t hibernate ever again. Seriously. Well, obviously, a lot of time has passed since my last post and with time comes events and with events come changes. So allow me to make a short list of the big changes that have happened in the past few years—

  • I have bid goodbye to the firm and started a new career as in-house counsel for the Philippine subsidiary of the world’s largest IT company. Leaving the firm was tremendously bittersweet as I really, really love the people there and I thoroughly enjoyed the work. Like most firms, however, the hours were terrible. As such, I decided to leave the firm and opt for an in-house position where the hours are more family friendly. So far, I enjoy my new job, primarily because I get to leave the office by 5pm (yes, I am a 5:01 employee), which allows me to spend more time with my family and friends in my hopes of achieving work-life balance.

  • Hubby and I are now nine years together (our tenth anniversary is coming pretty soon!) and our little boy is not-so-little anymore. I now have a grade three boy for a son. Gosh. Time really flies.
  • Of course, being the Ateneo fan that I am, my post will not be complete without mentioning Ateneo’s 3-peat! My dear boys-in-blue have won three consecutive championships! How sweet is that?

So, there. That’s my short list. I hope that in the coming days, I will have lots of reasons to blog.

See you around.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

English Genius (?)

My results of The Commonly Confused Words Test:

ENGLISH GENIUS

You scored 93% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 100% Expert! You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!



Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Ang sarap maging Atenista...

73-79.


Ang sarap maging Atenista... Lalong lalo na after beating La Salle in basketball. Heeheehee.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I don't get it...


I don't get it when people get masungit (cranky) when stressed. We all get stressed, so I don't agree that stress is an excuse to snap at people. Isn't the golden rule, do unto others what you want others to do unto you?


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

7 years already?

To my dearest Hubby,

This is for you:

"And I don't know
How you show
Such gentle disregard
For the ugly in me
That I see
That for so long
I took so hard
And I truly believe
That you see the best in me
I'm in love, We all love
And that thought sets me free

Free in you
Got no worries on my mind
I know what to do
That's to treat you right
And love you kind
Thank you ever on my mind
Love is just like breathing
When it's true
And I'm free in you
Yes I'm free in you"

- Indigo Girls "Free in You"


Happy 7th Anniversary, Dy! Here's to a lifetime of me being bratty and you being understanding. Hehehe. *mwah*


Friday, May 9, 2008

"Ma'am... Tumataba kayo."

Earlier today, the messenger from my old office came over to have me sign some documents. The moment he entered the room, his greeting was "Ma'am mukhang di kayo puyat ah. Tumataba kayo!" (Ma'am it doesn't look like you've been burning the midnight oil. You're gaining weight!)

Grrrrr... I hate it when people do that. Filipinos have this nasty habit of making remarks about your weight as a way of greeting. Whether or not it's meant to be a compliment, it's annoying and rude! I've been on the receiving end of all imaginable weight remarks (from "Tumataba ka" to "Ang payat payat mo! Hindi na maganda.") that I can honestly say, all forms of comments relating to weight are off-limits. For most people, weight is a sensitive issue and receiving thoughtless remarks like that can spell the difference between a good day and a bad day.

So a word of advice, unless asked or otherwise authorized, keep weight comments to yourself.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Life in my new firm, Chapter 1

New things I've done since I started last April 1, 2008:
  1. Go to Kuala Lumpur for the firm's summer outing. This was super fun. Even if the trip was Amazing Race-like (read: no two nights in the same hotel), I had a blast with my new officemates.
  2. Conducted my first ever due-diligence. I had to bring work to Kuala Lumpur just to make sure I can submit my work in time for the deadlines. Despite the long hours, a.k.a. staying in the office 'til 2am, I enjoyed my first ever due diligence mainly because of my teammates who remained calm and composed regardless of the work pressure.
  3. Sleep on the job. Hahaha. One afternoon, at the height of the due-diligence, my body conked out on me (the room was literally spinning.) after enduring days and days of sleep deprivation. Heeding my body's demand, I decided to have a power nap in my office. But... As luck would have it, one of the name partners (his surname is the first surname you'll see in our firm's name) happened to pass by my office and saw me in my uhm... dreamy state. Hahaha. It's a good thing he just made fun of it and simply concluded that I was overworked... Hehehe. Thank goodness for young, hip and understanding bosses! :-)
Well, a little over a month in the firm and so far, so good... :-)

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Saying goodbye to my old firm

On March 14, 2008, I will officially say goodbye to the first law firm I've ever worked in. Thinking about it makes me sad and happy at the same time. While I know that moving to the firm is the wise and best thing to do in terms of my career and family's needs, my affinity for the staff and my fellow associate is certainly making my parting with my current firm a truly bittersweet experience. They, after all, helped and guided me through my tumultuous first year of practice.

To the staff of CPLaw, you will definitely be missed. I hope that the staff in the firm are as wonderful as you are.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Forever a child

It amazes me that no matter how old we are or how successful we've become, when it comes to our parents, we are still little children. With one disappointing look, our world crumbles. With one seemingly innocent remark, we are clothed in self-doubt.

Note to self: Be very careful with what I say or do to my son. I will never know it will affect him.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Reclaiming Our Humanity by Fr. Manoling Francisco, SJ (Homilist, Mass for Jun Lozada, 17 February 2008)

RECLAIMING OUR HUMANITY

MASS FOR JUN LOZADA

LA SALLE GYMNASIUM, GREENHILLS

17 FEBRUARY 2008


On this Second Sunday of Lent, during which we are asked to reflect on the Transfiguration of Jesus Christ, I wish to touch on three themes that have to do with our moral transformation as a people: first, Ascertaining Credibility; second, Rediscovering our Humanity; and third, Witnessing to the Truth. In so doing, I hope to invite all of you to reflect more deeply on how we, as a nation, might respond to the present political crisis in which our identity and ethos, our convictions and integrity, in fact, who we are as a people, are at stake.

I. ASCERTAINING CREDIBILITY

Jun, as Sen. Miriam Santiago has grilled you to ascertain your credibility (or was it to undermine your credibility?), allow me to raise some important questions to consider in the very process of discerning your credibility. Allow me to do so by drawing on my own counseling experience.

Very often, a young rape victim initially suppresses his or her awful and painful story, indeed wills to forget it, in the hope that by forgetting, he or she can pretend it never happened. But very often, too, there comes a point when concealing the truth becomes unbearable, and the desperate attempts to supposedly preserve life and sanity become increasingly untenable.

At this point the victim of abuse decides to seek help. But even after having taken this step, the victim, devastated and confused, will tell his or her story with much hesitation and trepidation. It should be easy to imagine why. In telling the truth, one risks casting shame on himself or herself, subjecting oneself to intense scrutiny and skepticism, and jeopardizing one’s safety and those of his or her loved ones, especially when one dares to go up against an older or more powerful person.

Similarly, it is easy to imagine why Jun would initially refuse to challenge the might of Malacanang. Who in his or her right mind would accuse Malacanang of crimes against our people and implicate the First Family in a sordid tale of greed and corruption, knowing that by doing so, one endangers one’s life and the lives of his or her loved ones? We are, after all, living in dangerous times, where the government has not hesitated to use everything in its power to keep itself in power, where it has yet to explain and solve the numerous cases of extra-judicial killings.

But Jun is in his right mind. His story rings true especially in the face of the perils that he has had to face. And by his courage, Jun has also shown that it is not only that he is in his right mind; his heart is also in the right place.

Hence, my personal verdict: Jun, I believe that you are a credible witness. And if hundreds have gathered here this morning, it is probably because they also believe in you. Mga kapatid, naniniwala ba kayo kay Jun Lozada? Naniniwala ba kayo sa kanyang testimonya? Kung gayon, palakpakan po natin ang Probinsyanong Intsik, si Mr. Jun Lozada.

Jun, we hope that by our presence here, you may find some consolation. Pope Benedict XVI writes that “con-solatio” or consolation means “being with the other in his or her solitude, so that it ceases to be solitude.” Jun, be assured that your solitude is no longer isolation as we profess our solidarity with you. Hindi ka nag-iisa. We are committed to stay the course and to do our best to protect you and your family and the truth you have proclaimed.

II. REDISCOVERING OUR HUMANITY


What makes Jun a credible witness to us?

I think Jun is credible not simply by virtue of his being an eyewitness to the unmitigated greed of some of our public officials. Perhaps more importantly, Jun is credible because he has witnessed to us what it means to be truly human.

Which leads me to my second theme: What does it mean to be human? How might we rediscover our humanity?

Allow me to quote Pope Benedict XVI, who in his latest encyclical, Spe Salvi, has written: “the capacity to accept suffering for the sake of goodness, truth and justice is an essential criterion of humanity, because if my own well-being and safety are ultimately more important than truth and justice, then the power of the stronger prevails, then violence and untruth reign supreme. Truth and justice must stand above my comfort and physical well-being, or else my life becomes a lie. . . For this … we need witnesses—martyrs …. We need them if we are to prefer goodness to comfort, even in the little choices we face each day.”

Our Holy Father concludes, “the capacity to suffer for the sake of the truth is the measure of humanity.”

Isn’t this the reason we emulate our martyrs: Jose Rizal, Gomburza, Evelio Javier, Macli-ing Dulag, Cesar Climaco and Ninoy Aquino? They have borne witness for us what it means to be truly human—to be able to suffer for the sake of others and for the sake of the truth.

I remember Cory recalling a conversation she had with Ninoy while they were in exile in Boston. Cory asked Ninoy what he thought might happen to him once he set foot in Manila. Ninoy said there were three possibilities: one, that he would be rearrested and detained once more in Fort Bonifacio; two, that he would be held under house arrest; and three, that he would be assassinated.

“Then why go home?” Cory asked.

To which Ninoy answered: “Because I cannot allow myself to die a senseless death, such as being run over by a taxi cab in New York. I have to go home and convince Ferdinand Marcos to set our people free.”

Witnessing to one’s deepest convictions, notwithstanding the consequences, is the measure of our humanity. Proclaiming the truth to others, whatever the cost, is the mark of authentic humanity.

Jun, we know you have feared for your life and continue to do so. But in transcending your fears for yourself and your family, you have reclaimed your humanity. And your courage and humility, despite harassment and calumniation by government forces, embolden us to retrieve and reclaim our humanity tarnished by our cowardice and complicity with sin in the world. You have inspired us to be true to ourselves and to submit to and serve the truth that transcends all of us.

III. WITNESSING TO THE TRUTH

This leads us to our third and last theme: witnessing to the truth. In his encyclical, Pacem in Terris, Pope John XXIII exhorts that it is the fundamental duty of the government to uphold the truth: “A political society is to be considered well-ordered, beneficial and in keeping with human dignity if it grounded on truth.” Moreover, the encyclical explains that unless a society is anchored on the truth, there can be no authentic justice, charity and freedom.

Every government is therefore obliged to serve the truth if it is to truly serve the people. Its moral credibility and authority over a people is based on the extent of its defense of and submission to the truth. Insofar as a government is remiss in upholding the truth, insofar as a government actively suppresses the truth, it loses its authority vested upon it by the people.

At this juncture, allow me to raise a delicate question: At what point does an administration lose its moral authority over its constituents?

First, a clear tipping point is the surfacing of hard evidence signifying undeniable complicity of certain government officials in corruption and injustice, evidence that can be substantiated in court.

Hence, during the Marcos Regime, the manipulation of Snap Election results as attested to by the tabulators who walked out of the PICC was clear evidence of the administration’s disregard for and manipulation of the collective will of the people in order to remain in power..

During the Erap Administration, the testimony of Clarissa Ocampo, claiming that Pres. Erap had falsified Equitable Bank documents by signing as Jose Velarde, was the smoking gun that triggered the rage of our people.

Allow me to respond to the same question by pursue an alternative track of argument: an administration loses it moral authority over its people when it fails in its fundamental duty to uphold the truth, when it is constituted by an ethos of falsehood. When a pattern of negligence in investigating the truth, suppressing the truth and harassing those who proclaim the truth is reasonably established, then a government, in principle, loses its right to rule over and represent the people.

Regarding negligence: Do the unresolved cases, such as the failed automation of the national elections, the fertilizer scam, the extra-judicial killings, and the “Hello, Garci” scandal, constitute negligence on the part of the GMA Administration to probe and ferret out the truth?

Regarding covering-up the truth: Does the abduction of Jun Lozada and the twisting and manipulation of his narrative by Malacanang’s minions constitute concealment of the truth? Was the padlocking of the office of Asst. Gov’t Counsel Gonzales who testified before the Senate regarding the North Rail project anomaly an instance of covering-up the truth?

Regarding the suppression of the truth: Does the issuance and implementation of E.O. 464, which prevents government officials from testifying in Senate hearings without Malacanang’s permission, constitute suppression of the truth? Was the prevention of AFP Chief of Staff Gen. Senga and six other officers from testifying before the Senate with regard the “Hello, Garci” scandal tantamount to a suppression of the truth? Was disallowing Brig. Gen. Quevedo, Lt. Col Capuyan and Lt. Col. Sumayo from appearing before the Lower House an instance of hindering the truth from surfacing?

And regarding harassment of those who proclaim the truth: Are the abduction of Jun Lozada and the decision to court-marshal Gen. Gudani and Col. Balutan for disregarding Malacanang’s order not to testify before the Senate examples of punishing those who come forth to tell the truth?

By conflating one’s responses to all these questions does one arrive not at hard evidence showing culpability on the part of some government officials, but a gestalt, an image which nonetheless demands our assessment and judgment. I invite all of you then to consider these two methods of evaluating and judging the moral credibility of any government, the moral credibility of our present government.

Allow me to end with a few words about an Ignatian virtue, familiaritas cum Deo. To become familiar with God involves the illumination of the intellect, coming to know who God is and what God wills. But it also involves the conversion of the affect, the reconfiguration of the heart. Becoming familiar with God entails transforming and conforming my thinking, my feeling and my doing in accordance to the Lord’s, which can only be the work of grace.

Familiarity with God thus entails rejoicing in what God delights—the truth; abhorring what God detests—falsehood; being pained by what breaks the heart of God—the persecution of truth-seekers. Familiarity with God means sharing the passion of God for the truth and the pathos of God whenever the truth and the bearers of truth are overcome by the forces of the lie.

On this Second Sunday of Lent, as we contemplate the transfiguration of Jesus Christ on Mount Horeb, we pray that our hearts and minds be so transfigured and so conformed to the mind, heart and will of the Jesus, our way, our life, and our truth.

May the Lord bless and protect you, Jun, and your family. May the Lord bless and guide us all into the way of truth. Amen.

*******
Got this from the multiply site of my dear friend, Ernald. Just have to share it with you.
http://ernaldsj.multiply.com/journal/item/9/RECLAIMING_OUR_HUMANITY_Fr._Manolings_Homily_at_the_Mass_for_Jun_Lozada_LSGH

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's, indeed

On Valentine's day, I received a call which transformed an otherwise boring and uneventful day to one of the best days of my life... The managing partner of the firm called me and offered the job to me. Woooohoooooooo! Of course, I immediately accepted the offer. Now isn't the time to be demure and pakipot, hehehe. :-)

Next on my to-do list: tendering my resignation letter on Monday.

Wish me luck! :-)

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Firm shift?

Two weeks ago, after much deliberation, I finally had the courage to submit my application to the Firm I want to work in and last Friday, I received a text message from the managing partner that they have scheduled me for an interview on February 1. I am overwhelmed with emotions right now. A part of me can't help but feel excited with the possibility of a new, and hopefully better, working environment. On the other hand, there's a part of me that's holding back. The possibility of rejection is all too real. After all, I applied with the Firm when I was an underbar and they did not hire me. *sob, sob*

Well, if the Firm decides to hire me, eh di good. If not, well, I better send out my application to other firms. At the end of the day, I know I have to leave the firm I'm currently in, it's just a question of when.

Wish me luck, people. :-)

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Momzilla

Since we enrolled our little boy in the Ateneo Football Center (AFC) training program, my hubby and I have gotten used to spending our Saturday and Sunday mornings (early at that!) in the Ateneo football field. Like other parents, we watch and cheer as our little boys (and girls) learn to play football. It's been almost six months since we started dragging our butts to Ateneo every weekend and we've gotten familiar with the people we effectively spend our weekend mornings with.

Last Sunday, while we were watching our son train, my husband calmly concluded that he's seen it all. Here's why.

During the last AFC Football Festival, my son got teamed with this kid (the kid) who plays really good football. Prior to the Festival, My hubby and I observed that this kid, while he was really good at playing football, also had an attitude problem. During training, when his teammates don't pass the ball, he would yell, "Pass it to me!" Sometimes the kid would outrightly defy their coach and say no to whatever the coach asked him to do. Hubby and I just dismissed him as a brat... That is, until we saw his Mom...

My son's team reached the championship match for the last Football Festival. During the said game, I was standing (yes, standing! The game was exciting, ok?) beside the goal together with another mom from my son's football team and we cheered our lungs out for our sons' team. Even if our sons eventually lost the championship game (which was decided based on penalty kicks), we were damned proud of our boys!

It was under these circumstances that I first "encountered" the kid's Mom. She was standing at the opposite side of the goal with a friend of her's. While the game was going on, she would yell "J*****N, go after the ball!!! Kung hindi, wag ka na lang maglaro!" This she bellowed while she had her hands on her hips (yes, that menacing stance...) When her son followed her orders, she would proudly tell her friend that her methods work ("Konting sindak lang yan." with matching eyebrow movement). During waterbreaks, when most moms would wipe the sweat off their sons' backs, she would be barking orders at her young son, telling him what to do when the game resumes. I just labeled her as a "hardcore" football mom, and I thought I saw the worst of it during the Football Festival. Boy, was I wrong.

Last Sunday, during waterbreak, hubby and I watched in shock as she dragged (tugged, or whatever you call it) her crying six-year old son off the field. A few minutes later, we saw her approach the AFC table, talk to the AFC staff and hand in her receipt. Her reason? We don't know. We can only guess. But whatever her reason was, it's definitely not worth humiliating her little boy like that in public.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

First and last...

This is the first and the last time I will ever talk about this. I've kept my silence all this time in an effort to protect all the parties involved. More than a year has passed, and I've kept mum about this. But it seems that in this case, keeping silent is not the best way to go. I've had enough. I've heard and read enough, to finally speak up and put an end to this nonsense.

First and foremost, I am not doing this simply because it is my sister involved. God knows my sister and I have had our fair share of fights and misunderstandings. And I am not the type to tolerate her crap. Simply put, when my sister's not in the right, you can bet your ass I'd give her an unedited piece of my mind (yes, I've done this already). That being said, I can now go on and give a piece of my mind to this person who has been unabashedly writing about my sister.

To the person who keeps on writing about my sister's alleged betrayal, please, please wake up and see things as they are... YOU'RE SCREWED UP! You claim that my sister betrayed you when she didn't tell you that your fiance had doubts about marrying you. Duh! How conveniently you forget your hysterics in B*B's restaurant, when my sister, out of loyalty to you, calmly told you about your fiance's issues. Decent, mentally stable human beings would have the self-control not to do that, you know. But not you... You are so unstable that you proceeded to scream, curse and cry out in public, after my sister calmly explained to you what your fiance told her. Despite that, again, out of loyalty to you, my sister refused to talk to your fiance about your issues and actually referred your fiance to a marriage counselor for proper counseling. So please, tell me... Where is the betrayal there?

You know, girl, life is what you make it. If you want to put the blame on the world for the failure of your marriage, then that's your choice. Choose to be bitter and live in bitterness. It has been over a year and still you can't stop talking about your failed marriage. You want to know why it didn't work out between you and your husband (who out of weakness decided to push through with the wedding)? It's simple. ANG SAMA NG UGALI MO!
You're too screwed up to be capable of loving another human being. That's why. How can you blame everybody else when you're the one abusing your husband? You're the one who physically attacks him when you fight, and yet you're not to blame?! COME ON!!! Granted your husband was a bit of a wuss in continuing with the wedding, but hey, you can't blame the guy... After all, you would have probably chased him with a bolo had he called off the wedding. Wake up, girl. YOU ARE TO BLAME, too. If you can't admit that fact then you'll never move on, and you'll continue living in bitterness. Oh and one last thing, NOBODY, AS IN NO ONE, BELIEVES THAT YOU'RE HAPPY. You can blog about it all you want, you can ramble about how you've moved on and so on, but trust me, nobody believes you... So please, stop writing about my sister. She didn't cause the meltdown of your marriage, you did...

Bakit masarap maging Atenista?

  • It’s not easy to pass the ACET. Even if you’re 6’5” and have a mean hook shot.
  • Our campus is gorgeous.
  • When we say “hell week”, we mean “HELL week”… and we always survive.
  • Thanks to countless Philo oral exams and papers, we can BS our way out of anything.
  • We know the gratification that comes with getting an A from a Jesuit teacher. Or even just a B.
  • Meron.
  • Our patron saint’s leg was broken by a cannonball, but it didn’t break his spirit.
  • We get to yell “Win or lose, it’s the school we choose!” every time we sing our school song.
  • Even our least respectable course is still a hell of a lot better than “Sports Management”.
  • La Salle jokes are really, really funny.
  • When people ask what school you’re from and you answer “Ateneo”, they get a look on their faces that says “wow”.
  • Magis.
  • We can sit through tediously long and unbearably hot graduation ceremonies with smiles on our sweaty faces.
  • Our diplomas are impressively ginormous, and printed in Latin.
  • The Placement Office helps us land good jobs after graduation.
  • The Alumni Office sends us letters for our birthdays, Easter, and Christmas every year.
  • Our good teachers stay, and many are still around up to now.
  • No matter how many years have passed since graduation, Loyola Heights always feels like home.
  • We always give everything ONE BIG FIGHT.
  • It’s not that we’re better than everyone else. It’s just that we couldn’t imagine being anything else other than Atenean.
*****
by my dear friend, and fellow Blue Eagle fan, Aileesa Lim, (BSLM 2001).

Thursday, September 13, 2007

The $uperficial

This is a rant. I am utterly disgusted, so please bear with me...

I don't understand how some people can think that spewing out mean words is cute. I don't get it. I just don't. Don't get me wrong, I can be pretty superficial myself. But geez... Some people can be mean, just plain mean. Case in point, after a reunion-of-sorts lunch with a bunch of my classmates, a classmate of mine approached a female classmate and oh-so-casually says "You should think about growing your hair, the highlights aren't working for you." WOW. What a way to say goodbye. And to think they aren't even close. I mean, what the heck, right? Then I found out this same person said this to another classmate who had just broken up with her boyfriend, "Hay ******, I'm glad you broke up with your boyfriend, 'coz I can't even bear to look at the guy's face. Didn't you notice? I don't look at him." GOD! The boyfriend this person was referring to happens to be a really nice guy who was utterly devoted to his girlfriend. So nice, in fact, that my friend (the one whose hair got "criticized") and I are hoping for a reconciliation. Even more annoying is the fact that the boyfriend isn't ugly or horrible looking at all. But hey, as far as this superficial person's concerned, that doesn't matter because apparently the boyfriend's looks are not are not at par with the superficial's standards. Am I overreacting? Please, tell me, 'coz I am seriously annoyed with this guy.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Your Face Tomorrow, 1: Fever and Spear

"It's shocking how easily we replace the people we lose in our lives, how we rush to cover any vacancies, how we can never resign ourselves to any reduction in the cast of characters without whom we can barely go on or survive, and how, at the same time, we all offer ourselves up to fill vicariously the empty places assigned to us, because we understand and partake of that continuous universal mechanism of substitution, which affects everyone and therefore us too, and so we accept our role as poor imitations and find ourselves surrounded by more and more of them."


Javier Marias

**********
Another one of them brilliant writers. Galing magsulat! Hay. I can't wait to read his books. Thanks to Marco for sharing this.

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I live for moments like this...

Every time I find my little boy awake before I leave for work, I usually kiss and hug him before I say goodbye. Normally, this annoys him as my kiss-and-hug isn't your normal kiss and hug routine, it's actually more like a kiss-kiss-hug-kiss-kiss-kiss-really-tight-hug-kiss-an-even-tighter-hug routine. His reaction notwithstanding, I do that to him every time I say goodbye.

This morning, my little boy was preparing for his bath when I went up to him and said my usual goodbye. As I was walking away from the bathroom, I heard my little boy call out "Mommy!", so I looked back and saw him running towards me, arms outstretched. His yaya who was walking behind him said, "Ate, gusto pa daw ng lambing." I gladly yielded to his request and hugged him. After hugging him, my little boy gave me a kiss on the cheek... Haaaaaay, bliss!

After that, I stood up and he walked away from me, towards the bathroom. He had taken just a few steps when I heard him call out again, "Mommy!" I turned to see him, and I saw him walking towards me, with his lips puckered (What a sight that was!)... Again, I gladly gave in to his request and planted a kiss on his lips, coupled with an extra tight hug. After my kiss and hug, he happily walked towards the bathroom. While doing so, he kept on blowing me kisses and repetitiously said "Ba-bye! Ba-bye! See you later, ma!" until I was out of his sight... Haaaay. The joy of it all. Moments like this just goes to show that life is good, indeed. :-)

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Awwwww...

"You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

0r you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on."

-- David Harkins

**********
Grief, as in all other things in life, is a matter of choice. :-)